Steely Shin: Certified Badass
by therealmotherhecker
Summary: Everyone knows Shinji Ikari is a whiny little punk. But what if he were something greater? Follow the adventures of Steely Shin, the most badass 14 year-old to ever pilot a mech. Angels beware, 'cause there's a new sheriff in town.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Hideaki Anno is a punk.

The name's Shinji "Steely Shin" Ikari. I like bustin' heads, smokin' cigars, drinkin' bourbon and seducin' the honeys. I'm what most would call an "alpha male." I don't take shit from anyone. Ya get on my bad side and I'll put my foot where the sun don't shine.

A few years ago, my pops abandoned me after his main squeeze up and croaked. I was pretty young and my memories a' that broad ain't all that great. Why would I call my mother "that broad," you ask? Because I hardly remember her, I already made that clear. Whatever, Steely Shin don't need parents. I've lived on the streets for as long as I can remember, I ain't ever had a problem I couldn't solve with my head, my fists, or my dick.

Well, back to the present. I'd just recently arrived in a place called Tokyo-3, and things were pretty nuts. First, I met some purple-haired slut. Probably gonna pump and dump her when I get some free time. She drove me to the headquarters of an organization called NERV. Ya see, my pops runs the joint. All the stuff there was pretty technical, don't ask me to explain it.

Before I forget, yer probably wonderin' what I looked like. Even if ya weren't, I'm gonna tell ya anyway. My hair's dark brown, kinda unkempt. I wore a brown cowboy hat, as well as some aviator sunglasses. There was a scar on my left cheek from a broken beer bottle. Got in a bar fight a few years back. Don't worry, what happened to the punk who glassed me was a lot worse.

Over my white t-shirt was a brown, sheepskin bomber jacket. The pants I had on were some basic blue jeans. Oh, I was also wearin' black combat boots. Sorry I took so long explainin' all that shit, but ya gotta know how I looked. Wouldn't want ya to think I was some scrawny punk wearin' a school uniform or somethin'.

The purple-haired bimbo, Misato was her name I think, got lost. What a dumb slut, am I right? Eventually we ran into some other bimbo with obviously dyed hair. Was she tryin' to impress my pops with that? Talk about desperate. I'm gettin' sidetracked here, so let me continue. After a while, we made it to a big dark room.

Ritsuko, the fake blonde bimbo, turned the lights on revealin' a huge-ass robot. Oh, and my pops in some observation room. "Hey pops, cut the bullshit. Just gimme the skinny, why am I here?" I asked, not even botherin' to hide how pissed I was. This was cuttin' into my personal time.

"You are to pilot EVA unit 01."

"Ya mean that giant, purple robot? Why the fuck would I do that, pops? I got bigger fish to fry." I pulled out a cigar and lighter from one a' my pockets. I took my time to sniff the cigar, can't get enough a' that sweet tobacco smell. After lightin' it, I noticed some glares from the bimbos. "What? Do ya have a no smokin' policy? My pops runs this place, I can do what I want."

"We're more concerned over the fact that you're underaged." Misato explained. "So, yer fine with me pilotin' some stinkin' robot to fight a genocidal monster, but ya draw the line at smokin'? Ya need to get yer priorities in check." I smirked at their irritated faces. They were all looks and no brains. Pops probably kept 'em around for quick lays, the ol' horndog.

Pops spoke up. "You are the only one capable, Shinji. Either agree to pilot, or leave. You're wasting both our time."

"Stop bein' a little bitch, pops. I _might_ agree to help ya, but what's in it for me?"

"You will be paid the standard salary for an EVA pilot, nothing more nothing less."

"That ain't gonna cut it." I removed the cigar from my mouth. "If I'm the only one who can pilot that thing, shouldn't I be the one to make the terms?"

Pops sighed and glared at me. "We'll just use Rei. You're as worthless as ever, Shinji."

I lowered my shades to return the glare. "Blow it out yer ass, ol' man." I brought the cigar to my mouth again, then put my hands in my pockets. I wanted to see this Rei person. Size 'em up, see if they were as good as me. What surprised me was she was just a teenage girl, and she was on a hospital bed all wrapped up in bandages.

I won't lie, I wanted to tap that. But I have my own rules of etiquette; I don't make passes at girls in intensive care. That's just weird, plus they can't really perform well. One thing I could say for sure though, if she recovered, I'd be all over that ass. Shortly after she was wheeled in, there was an earthquake; apparently caused by some monster terrorizin' the city. The Rei girl fell off her bed and I went to catch her, bein' the gentleman I am.

"Yer really gonna send a little crippled girl to fight yer battles, pops? Ya piece a' shit." The comment seemed to get under his skin, because I swear he scowled for a sec. "Are you going to leave or not?" Pops asked.

"If she's my replacement, then I guess I gotta do what I gotta do. I'll kick that monster's ass. I ain't a coward like you, pops." I then put out my cigar with my tongue, threw it on the floor, and stomped it. No monster, no matter how big, was a match for Steely Shin.

We went through some preliminary bullshit that isn't really worth explainin'. After that I was sent up an elevator, and met face to face with the monster, or "angel" as these people called it. Didn't look like no angel to me. Looked kinda like a plague doctor or somethin'. Closin' my eyes, I quickly whispered a prayer.

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul. He leads me in right paths for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and your staff – they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies, you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. And I shall dwell in the house of the lord my whole life long."

With that said and done, my eyes shot open and I made the sign a' the cross. I'm a devout Catholic I should have ya know. "Alright, enough a' that. Listen up, Tokyo-3! Steely Shin's here to kick some angel ass!"

Because I'm such a badass, my "synch ratio" or whatever it's called was damn impressive. I rushed up to that angel fucker and shivved him with my knife. Little bitch just screamed and tried to attack, but it was too slow. I dodged every move it made and lunged at it's core, a red orb thingy.

"From hell's heart, I stab at thee, ya gotdamn sumbitch!" As ya can tell, I'm a pretty well-read fella. I stabbed it a few times and the thing continued to scream, before grabbin' me and self-destructin'.

Talk about a dick move.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** A Charlie Brown Christmas has a great soundtrack.

As ya probably figured, I survived the damned explosion. Wasn't even scratched, but the robot I was in definitely took some damage. Actually, scratch what I said about robot; turns out it wasn't even a robot. It was some fleshy monstrosity from God-knows-where. A weaker man might a' passed out from the sight of it, but Steely Shin ain't weak.

The NERV goons ran some tests on me before sendin' me off to the hospital. I told 'em I was fine, but they practically forced me. Not much interestin' happened there, but I did see that Rei girl again. There was somethin' strange about that one, not just because a' the blue hair and red eyes.

I felt drawn to her, and not just in the "I wanna fuck ya" sense. There was also a strange sense a' familiarity about her. Weird; usually when I see a hot broad, I just think about doin' the nasty. Which admittedly, I wanted to do with her. But there were other things about her I couldn't help thinkin' about.

I wanted to get to know this Rei girl. Hopefully we'd fuck, and maybe if she was good enough… we'd possibly take it further. Steely Shin ain't much for "goin' steady," but maybe it's about time I started settlin' down. Ah, listen to me. This ol' cowboy does ramble on, don't he?

After leavin' the hospital, that Misato broad convinced me to stay with her. This conflicted with my plan to pump and dump her, but maybe I could still get a little action. Her apartment was a total mess; it was littered with beer cans and microwavable food containers. What a fuckin' pig.

There was also a penguin livin' there. Whatever happened to good ol' fashioned dogs? If it were me, I'd get somethin' like a German Shepherd; strong and reliable. But I guess a German Shepherd ain't exactly suited for an apartment, is it?

We were eatin' at the table when I was snapped outta my musings. "You haven't said much, what are you; the strong silent type?" Misato suddenly asked. I choked on a bit a' frozen crap before replyin'. "I am what I am. Anyway, how do ya eat this garbage? I'm cookin' from here on out. If I keep eatin' this it'll kill me."

"You can cook, Shinji?"

"Call me Steely Shin, sweet-cheeks. And yeah, I can cook. A real man has to support himself, and cookin' is a necessary life skill." Removin' a flask from one a' my jackets inner pockets; I took a swig.

"Well, 'Steely Shin,' tell me a little about yourself. What do you do besides acting like a tough guy and cooking?"

"I don't _act_ like anythin'." I took another swig. "As for what I do… I like gettin' into scrapes and foolin' around with girls."

"Do you plan on fooling around with me?" She asked in a faux-seductive voice.

I screwed the top a' my flask and put it away before answerin'. "Sorry, I don't fool around with desperate hags." She yelled a couple of obscenities and tossed a beer can at me, but I dodged. I laughed it off as a joke, but she was still pissed.

"I also like playin' and listenin' to classical music. More specifically; Impressionist and Chamber music. I'm quite competent at playin' the cello and the piano."

"Classical music, huh? Can't say I expected that…"

"What? Because I'm a tough guy, you assumed I liked listenin' to shit like Pantera or Metallica? Don't try to pigeonhole me. I ain't a stereotype." She just nodded and took another sip a' her beer. "Y'know, Misato… forgive my hag crack. It was a tasteless joke and I sincerely apologize."

"Water under the bridge. Just don't make cracks like that again, got it?"

I stood up and approached her; my face was only a few inches away from hers. She looked confused and was blushin', possibly from bein' drunk, I ain't sure. I gently caressed her cheek and whispered in a seductive tone. "Misato… I'm sure things have been awfully stressful for ya. How would ya like to… _unwind_ for a bit?"

Before she could reply, I was behind her and began to gently massage her back. No broad can resist the ol' Steely Shin backrub. A few minutes a' pleasured moans later, I could tell she was putty in my hands. "Oh, Steely Shin…" She moaned in delight. I smirked and rested my head on her shoulder. I took a whiff a' her hair; it smelled like grapes.

"What do ya say we take this somewhere more… _intimate._ " I whispered into her ear before playfully nibblin' it. She squealed in delight and nodded. After helpin' her up, we started makin' out. Our hands explored each other's bodies as we exchanged saliva. Both tongues wrestled for dominance, but hers quickly submitted.

I canvassed every area of her mouth as we made it to her bedroom. When we arrived, I turned the light on; I wanted to see everythin'. She let out an excited yelp after I yanked off her yellow tank top. "Tell me, Misato. Do ya usually go around without a bra?"

"O-only s-sometimes."

Cuppin' her right breast with my left hand; I played around with her erect nipple while I unzipped her jean shorts with my right. "No panties, either? You really are a naughty girl."

"A-are you going to punish me?"

"You'll find out soon enough."

I pushed her on the bed and unbuckled my belt. After I unzipped and prepared to lower my jeans and boxers, a face flashed through my mind. I froze; it was Rei. That enigmatic blue haired girl. Why couldn't I stop thinkin' about her? I tried to get the image outta my head, but it was futile. Noticin' my complete lack of an erection, I started to panic.

"What are you waiting for, _Steely Shin_?" Misato purred. Shit, this was very un-Steely Shin a' me. I've never suffered from erectile dysfunction in my life! I tried to focus on the purple-haired woman before me, but I just couldn't get things goin'.

I decided to play it cool. I zipped up my pants and buckled up my belt. "Sorry, babe. I just remembered I have some important business to attend to. No hard feelings, right?" I didn't even turn to face her as I switched off the light and left. Surely some fresh air would calm my nerves, right? I just had to pray she wouldn't destroy all my stuff before I got back.

After wanderin' around aimlessly for a few hours, I arrived at NERV's hospital. It was late, but maybe I could find a way to meet that Rei girl properly. I asked the front desk about her; I got her room number, but they wouldn't let me see her. Some shit about visitation hours bein' over. Not carin' much for regulations, I waited for an opportunity and snuck in.

Bein' naturally stealthy, it wasn't a difficult task makin' it to her room undetected. How'd I avoid the security cameras, you ask? Just shut the fuck up and suspend yer disbelief for cryin' out loud. I opened the door as slowly as possible, not wantin' to risk wakin' her. Turns out I fucked that up, 'cause when I entered, she was already starin' right at me.

"Why are you here? Visiting hours have ended." She said in a flat, monotone voice. She still sounded damn adorable, though.

"Well, I was just worried about ya, so I snuck in. Ya looked pretty bad when I last saw ya."

I pulled up a chair next to her and sat down.

"Worried about me? I do not understand. You do not know me."

I removed my glasses, so she could get a good look at my eyes. "That doesn't matter. Yer a human bein' and you were hurtin'. Maybe if you were some punk I wouldn't care, but that clearly ain't the case. Did that angel I fought do this to ya?"

"…No." Her voice was now a faint whisper.

"Well, I dunno how ya got so hurt, but I swear on this scar a' mine," I pointed to my left cheek, "I won't ever let it happen again. As long as I can pilot an EVA, I'll always protect ya! Hell, even if I can't pilot an EVA anymore, I'll still protect ya as best I can!"

The faintest tinge a' pink spread across those cute little cheeks a' hers. After starin' at me for a few secs, she finally spoke. "And I will protect you as well, Ikari."

"Um, Ikari's so formal. Could ya call me... Shinji?" I don't know why I didn't tell her to call me Steely Shin. Everyone except my father calls me that. Why did I wanna be on a first name basis with this girl? So many weird, non-sexual feelings about a girl I hardly knew, I felt like I was goin' insane!

"Alright, Shinji. Is that acceptable?"

"Y-yeah, that's nice." Why the hell did I stutter? Erectile dysfunction and stuttering... what a night! I should a' felt ashamed a' myself, but for some odd reason; I was happy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Eva Gabor had the voice of an angel. I wish she could sing me to sleep.

The next morning was awkward to say the least. After leavin' Rei at the hospital, I wandered around town for a little longer. I stopped by a few stores and got some supplies; I figured Misato would be a little more forgivin' if I made her a nice breakfast. That is if she didn't kick me out the second she saw me.

When I arrived back at the apartment, it was pretty early. I could hear some snorin' comin' from Misato's room, so I had my chance. I put some of the groceries away and began to prepare breakfast. Things were nearly finished when I heard the sound of a door sliding open. Shit! I hadn't prepared what I was gonna say yet!

She yawned and rubbed her eyes, then sat down at the dining room table and proceeded stare at me. I didn't say anything, and continued to finish up breakfast. A few minutes later, I set everything on plates and joined her at the table.

"I prepared some omelets as well as a couple of imported Polish sausages. Had to go to a specialty shop for those. On the sweeter side, I also made some French toast. There's confectioner's sugar and maple syrup in the pantry, so help yourself."

She sniffed the food a couple a' times and continued to stare. "You don't want it to get cold, do ya? Eat up!" Misato glared for a few more seconds, then sighed and began to eat her omelet. Thankfully enough, she seemed to enjoy it. Wipin' her mouth; she glanced at me, lookin' more vulnerable than angry, surprisingly enough.

"Is this supposed to be your apology for last night?"

"Sorta… I did say I was gonna cook, didn't I?" I took a bite of sausage before continuing. "I am sorry, really. It wasn't my intention to run out on ya like that."

"Just tell me why."

"Well, uh…" Should I tell her the truth? That I couldn't get a boner? I've got a reputation to uphold! Still, I didn't wanna lie. What to do, what to do? I sighed before comin' clean. "I couldn't… hail to the chief."

She raised an eyebrow. "Come again?"

"I, uh, couldn't get my flag past half-mast."

" _Shinji_ …" Damn, she wasn't callin' me Steely Shin. "I think I get what you're trying to say, but I need you to be as clear about this as possible. I won't even think about forgiving you unless you tell me what happened in specific terms."

I took a deep breath. This wasn't gonna be pleasant. "I couldn't get an erection! There, are ya happy now?!"

"But why? Am I that unattractive? Do I repulse you?"

"W-what? No, you're really sexy! Honest! I just… couldn't stop thinkin' about somethin'."

"And what was this something, pray tell?"

"Well, actually it was some _one._ You remember that girl my po-… my father was going to have pilot that EVA instead of me?"

"Rei?"

"Yeah… after seein' her then and also in the hospital, I couldn't get her outta my head. Her face popped outta nowhere when… well ya know, and I felt so guilty. I just couldn't go through with it."

"You hardly even know her; how can you expect me to believe that?"

"I can't explain it myself, I've never felt this way about anyone! I even visited her in the hospital after I left. It's weird, I can't help but feel extremely protective over her. She's practically a stranger, yet I feel so close to her. Ah! It's so confusing!"

I couldn't even see her expression; I had my eyes closed and I was messin' up my hair in frustration. Damn, I must've looked so pathetic. My eyelids shot open in shock when she grabbed one a' my hands.

"Shinji, I'm not going to lie and say I'm not upset over last night. I still am, not just at you, but at myself. You were my responsibility, and what I did was shameful." She squeezed my hand then continued. "Let's just try to forget what happened yesterday and get on with our lives, okay?"

"So, I can stay?"

"Yeah, you can stay. Just don't ever give me a backrub again, got it?"

I chuckled and nodded in affirmation. The whole situation wasn't any where near as bad as I thought it would be. I was wrong about Misato, she was a decent woman. A little rough around the edges, but who was I to judge? We spent the next few minutes eating in silence, and I volunteered to clean up.

"That was a pretty good meal, Shinji. I can't remember the last time I had such a nice breakfast."

"Thanks. I've lived on my own for a while now; I didn't have much of a choice but to learn how to cook."

Misato walked up to me and ruffled my hair. "You're not on your own anymore."

"Yeah, I guess yer right."

About two weeks passed after that. Neither of us made any mention of "the incident" again. Over those weeks we got to know each other, and I even grew to hold a certain respect for the woman. Respect for a woman… it was funny. A few weeks ago, I would've scoffed at the idea; but I've changed a lot since arrivin' in Tokyo-3.

I visited Rei a few more times, and while she was still as introverted as ever; I managed to learn a few things about her. Turns out she was raised by my father. Honestly, I expected myself to feel a little resentful about that, but I just couldn't. The way he raised her couldn't have been pleasant. Rei had clearly been mistreated and neglected.

What irritated me was what little care she had for her own life. The poor girl saw herself as a tool for NERV; her only supposed purpose was to pilot an EVA and fight angels. I'll tell ya, I wouldn't have any a' that talk.

"Ya can't talk like that! Yer a human and yer life is worth just as much as mine or anyone else's!" I remember tellin' her.

"You are wrong. I am a tool of Commander Ikari; my sole purpose is to pilot EVA."

"Is that what my father's been tellin' ya?! I know ya respect him, so I won't insult the man; but that way a' thinkin' is absurd! Nobody has any right to dictate what yer purpose in life is but yerself! Look deep down inside and ask yerself: 'What is my purpose?' Don't think about what I've said, or what my father has said, or what anyone at NERV has said. Just listen to Rei Ayanami."

She closed her eyes and went silent. After a long moment of introspection, she finally voiced her true belief. "I… do not know my purpose. Does that disappoint you, Shinji?"

I smiled. "No, not at all. Most people go their whole lives not knowin' their purpose. I'll be honest, I'm still unsure a' what mine is, too. All I know is, yer purpose is far greater than that of a tool. Life is a precious gift that should be treasured; yers is no exception."

I'll never forget what happened after that. The moment will forever be ingrained in my memory. For the first time ever, I saw Rei smile. From that moment on, I _knew_ there was somethin' truly special about Rei Ayanami.

"Thank you, Shinji."

Rei had also voiced her distaste at the smell of alcohol and tobacco. It made her feel unpleasant, and that in turn made me feel guilty. I immediately resolved to quit drinkin' and smokin' the day she brought that up. Givin' up somethin' cold turkey is always difficult, but two things? I can tell ya, things weren't pleasant. Thankfully, I could always think to Rei in my moments of weakness. I wanted her to be happy; the last thing I wanted was to discomfort her with my behavior. Drinkin' and smokin' are awful habits anyway, I always told myself I'd quit eventually. Didn't think it would be when I was 14, but c'est la vie.

I was currently in class, and the sound of the classroom door slidin' open brought me to attention. Rei was finally well enough to attend. She was still a little beaten up, but her condition had improved drastically. I called her name and smiled at her, and she bowed slightly in recognition before sittin' down.

Most a' my time was spent observin' Rei, who for the most part, silently looked out the window. A couple a' times I caught her lookin' back at me, but each time she'd look startled and turn away. Rei was an odd one alright, but I wouldn't have her any other way.

I've always been a loner, so things were quite boring at school before she showed up. I had a few conversations with a couple a' guys named Touji and Kensuke. We weren't all that close, but they were decent people. There was a potential for friendship there, I certainly hadn't ruled out the possibility.

When lunch break rolled around, I approached Rei and asked if she wanted to join me. She seemed a little unsure of herself, but agreed nonetheless. We didn't talk much, but the experience was still pleasant. Bein' around Rei felt so… comforting. All those less than honorable thoughts; drinkin', smokin', sex… they were all washed away when I was with her. All I could think about was how content I felt bein' around her.

Shortly after school ended, Rei confronted me and told me we were to report to NERV. Apparently, another angel had appeared. Once again, it was up to me to take it out. Over the last two weeks I had gone through some trainin', and I also dealt with the last angel easily enough. Surely this one would be a pushover, too.

I mean, right?


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** This is the most normal chapter in this story. Also, I haven't masturbated since Christmas.

One of a thing is never too little. Of course, it can be said of nothing that what is isn't; and what isn't is not isn't. Try and understand, ye who come o'er here. None of this is of consequence, for not of yours or mine. Angels, they are trivial and of great significance, no it is not an oxymoron.

Intelligence is only an illusion, for wealth is merely obtrusive. Words; what can be said of them? Nothing is ideal, and everything is perfect. I love and harbor all that is unworthy in the world. For time is fickle, I shall depart. Do not venture past the brush, it is unfamiliar. It is a strain and yet, it is not a burden.

Before you shall appear a beacon, that is the sign that I have done and done and done. No, haste is not recommended; be weary. Become one with all and everything with nothing. Strike your face till you draw blood. Inflict pain; for misery is love.

Do not attempt to find meaning in these words, for there is none. All that can be said of anything is [redacted]. Depart from this plane, and discover old horizons. We are ignorant, but shall become naïve in time. Dangerous figures lurk the inner recesses of our minds. We must not indulge these figures, nor shall we comprehend them.

Familial relations are burdensome, yet misunderstood. Heed nothing and ignore all, your mind must not be corrupted. Open your heart and close your mind, for that is wisdom. Trust in me, I will [redacted] betray you. Synchronize your movements with mine; as I lift my right hand, lift yours. Do nothing and imagine everything.

I do not exist. I am merely the tool of another. Am I a power fantasy? No, I am a parody; a mockery. I am a series of words that describe an altogether unrealistic character. For what purpose have I been granted existence? Am I merely an outlet for the alleviation of boredom or perhaps stress? The answers to these questions are known, but not to me; for I have no mind.

"Why do you write?"

Writing is a means of expressing ideas, both abstract and logical. I write to preserve my thoughts, no matter how inconsequential they may be.

"Why do you read?"

To learn and to escape.

"Why do you [redacted]?"

For [redacted] is the be-all and end-all of my existence. These questions have grown tiresome.

I killed the angel, but not without complications. The power cable for the EVA had been severed, so my time had been severely limited. I also had to deal with two guys by the name of Touji and Kensuke. If you have a decent memory, you'll know I mentioned them last chapter.

What happened between me and the angel is unimportant. I no longer wish to discuss such matters. My story has come to an end. Hopefully you have enjoyed our time together.

The name's Shinji Ikari, just Shinji Ikari. I do not like anything. I am not what most would call an "alpha male." This was my tale, and it was quite uneventful.

 **THE END… OR IS IT?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** The story's not over. But of course, _you_ knew that.

Five days. That's how much time had passed since my encounter with the last angel. I've always been confident; self-assured. But something inside me broke that day. The angel had been defeated, Tokyo-3 was still intact; you'd think I'd be satisfied. But those two idiots… they just had to get involved.

"Those two guys! I know them from school!"

All it took was a momentary distraction, and I was hit. Unit-01 came crashing down and there was little I could do. As the purple behemoth collided against that hill, I closed my eyes and prayed; prayed desperately that I would avoid them. After the fall, I ignored the pleas from Misato to retreat. The only thing that concerned me was the fate of Touji and Kensuke.

I looked around restlessly, ignoring the blows Unit-01 was taking and Misato's demands. There was no sign of the two boys. The gears in my mind began to shift and I came upon a realization. With that realization, something snapped inside. My initial reaction was only natural; I screamed. Having Unit-01 tighten its grip on its knife, I lunged with a primal scream. Misato didn't matter, the EVA didn't matter, Tokyo-3 didn't matter, I didn't matter. All that mattered was the death of that angel.

After Unit-01 was retrieved, I showered and got redressed. Misato lectured me about following her orders, but I wouldn't respond to her. I couldn't. My insecurities and weaknesses; I had kept them repressed for so long. Everything came crashing down at once; my only means of coping was to shut everyone and everything out.

For these last five days, I had wandered the streets of Tokyo-3. Not once visiting Misato, Rei or anyone at school. I was a coward, and this was the only way I could live with myself. I hadn't eaten, I hadn't slept. I was simply rotting away in my own miserable world.

"This is how it ends for ol' Steely Shin, huh?" I said to no one in particular. Famished and completely sleep-deprived, I hadn't moved in hours. Deep down, I wondered if anyone was looking for me. If anyone really cared. Rei's condition had improved; in time, she would be capable enough to deal with the angels, right?

"Fitting end for a useless scumbag." I closed my eyes and soon found myself slipping from consciousness. I didn't dream, or at least if I did; I didn't remember what I dreamed about. I woke up in the same hospital I'd been taken to after I fought my first angel.

An IV drip was injected into one of my arms, and a nearby machine diligently kept track of my heart rate. My eyes were groggy, and I was quite disoriented. It took awhile before I realized I wasn't alone. The sudden sound of a gentle voice brought me to my senses.

"I am glad you're awake, Shinji."

"R-Rei?"

I wanted to smile, but I couldn't bring myself to do that. I just looked away. "You didn't need to come." I told her.

"You visited me when I was in the hospital. Is it not appropriate that I visit you as well?"

" _You're not a murderer."_ I whispered.

"Excuse me?"

I turned around to face her. She had a slight frown and her eyes showed genuine concern. Rei wasn't exactly known for being emotive, so I could tell she was distressed. "I killed those two guys from class! Touji and Kensuke! Why would you visit a worthless murderer?!"

"You are not a murderer." She firmly stated.

"I killed my two classmates! How am I not a murderer?!"

"You are not responsible for their deaths. They were fully aware of the risk they took leaving the shelter. You did not choose to harm them; the only thing at fault is their foolishness."

My eyes narrowed. "Was that supposed to make me feel better? You really suck at pep talks, Rei."

"I was merely stating facts. It was not my intention to cause offense."

Letting out a sigh, I shook my head. "I didn't know them well, but it was still my duty to protect them. Because I was distracted, they were killed. I may not have made the conscious decision to end their lives, but the fault is all mine."

"I am sorry." Rei said almost immediately.

"Sorry? What for? For what you said about Touji and Kensuke?"

"Yes. As you know, I am… unfamiliar with many social norms. What I said was inappropriate, and I sincerely apologize." I sat upward and looked her in the eyes. She was being honest. Rei may not have understood exactly why what she said upset me, but she still knew it did. She was a confused girl, but her heart was in the right place.

"It's okay. You still have a lot to learn, don't you? I'm not too different in that regard. I can be tactless and all-around unpleasant. Although that's less out of ignorance and more me trying to convey an image."

"Convey an image?"

"Yeah… ever since my father left me; I've acted tough. I did it for so long, that I had convinced myself that's how I actually was. I've done a lot of reflecting over the last few days, and I've come to a realization."

"And that is?" She asked, a look of genuine curiosity on her face.

"I'm a total fraud. Deep down, I've always been a scared little boy. I created this persona as a means of distancing myself emotionally from people. I didn't want to grow attached to someone and have them leave me like my parents did. So, I just pretended that I didn't care about anyone but myself."

"But you cared about me, did you not?"

"Yeah, of course. There was something about you; you have a way of getting right through my defenses. When I'm around you, I feel safe; comfortable. You make me happy, and I like to think that I make you happy as well."

Rei had the decency to blush at my comment. "I also find myself at ease when I am around you, Shinji. And yes, you do make me feel... happy." She smiled softly and in turn, I smiled back. My smile soon turned back into a frown. "I just don't know how I can deal with what happened."

"I cannot help you, as I have never experienced what you're going through. However," Rei stood up and covered my left hand with hers, "I will be here to comfort you. If that is… acceptable."

My eyes widened, but I quickly relaxed. Squeezing her hand slightly, I gave Rei the warmest smile I could muster. "Thank you, Rei."

"Thank you too, Shinji."

What seemed like a decent amount of time passed as we enjoyed each other's company. I had gotten so carried away with Rei being there that I had forgotten about Misato. I asked Rei if Misato knew about what happened, and she told me that Misato had visited earlier, but was currently working. I sighed in relief. It was reassuring to know that even after that awkward first night and what happened with the last angel, she still cared about me. God knows, I didn't deserve that care.

"So, do you know how long I've been here?"

"You were brought in late last night, shortly after you passed out. NERV had been keeping tabs on your whereabouts, so you weren't in any serious danger."

"I guess that's nice to know. Even if they only care about me because I'm a pilot. So, what time is it?"

"There's a clock on the wall, right there," Rei pointed towards a circular analog clock, "Shinji."

How had I not noticed that? Must've been because I was so focused on Rei and what happened with Touji and Kensuke. "Sorry. I guess I'm pretty scatterbrained after everything that's happened." I squinted as I checked the time.

3:57PM

"I was out for a while, wasn't I? I hope it wasn't too boring waiting for me to wake up."

"It was not. I was… happy to be by your side."

I squeezed her hand again and smiled. Sure, she was odd, but she was way too good for me. I don't know what I ever did to deserve someone like Rei, but I was eternally grateful. In such a short time, she had done what no one was capable of doing before. She had unearthed the true Shinji Ikari.

"Shinji, do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"You just did, didn't you?" I chuckled, which elicited a slight twitch in her lips. "Sure, Rei. Go ahead."

"I have noticed since your awakening, your manner of speaking is _different_. It is not as unrefined as it was before. Why is that?"

"Oh, yeah. That just goes back to my tough guy act, I suppose. Honestly, I thought I just naturally spoke like that, but apparently not. Does that bother you?"

She shook her head. "No, it does not. I was simply curious."

"You know, Rei. Speaking of well... speaking, I think this is the most I've ever heard you talk since we met."

"I could say the same of you."

"That's probably true." A few moments of awkward silence passed after that. Clearing my throat, I decided to break said silence. "Rei, I know interacting with others isn't easy for you, but I want… no, I need you to know how grateful I am that you've opened up to me."

Rei gently took my hand and brought it to her cheek. This caused both of us to blush profusely; seems I was a lot more bashful than I led on. "I am the one who should be grateful." She whispered. We stayed motionless in that same position for what seemed like an eternity.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I do not own… Yeah right, like I'd ever write an actual disclaimer.

"Yer a pathetic piece a' shit, y'know that?"

That voice; It was like my own, but not quite. Where was I? I looked around, trying to gather my bearings. Everything was dark, cold. This wasn't real, was it? No, it must have been a dream. "Who are you?!" I yelled. "Show yourself!"

"Who am I? Ya wound me. Surely ya haven't forgotten me already?"

A lone figure emerged from the shadows; looking exactly as I did the day I arrived in Tokyo-3. "I figured as much. What do you want?" The other me chuckled and slowly approached. As he came within a foot's distance, I tensed. Before I could react, he had me by the collar.

"Ya got some nerve pullin' the shit ya've been pullin'!"

"W-what the hell are you talking about?"

"What the fuck do ya think I'm talkin' about?!" I flinched. "Everything we've cultivated, ya've thrown it away for some chick ya hardly know!"

"I… know Rei well enough. She's my friend."

'Steely Shin,' as I'll call my other half, strengthened his grip; his teeth were clenched. "She's not yer friend! Ya wanna fuck her and that's that. We don't need friends."

"There's no _we_ here. There's only me, Shinji Ikari." I answered between grunts.

He sneered before decking me. It was only a dream, or at least I thought it was, but somehow it still hurt. "I've been in control a lot longer than you have! What gives ya the right to shove me aside! First ya ruin things with that Misato chick, now yer fuckin' up all my future chances as well!"

"I don't need you anymore. I'm tired of hiding who I am. You're a relic, a concept. You never really existed."

Another fist came rocketing towards my jaw; once again, it hurt like hell. "Yer nothin' but a spineless little shit who needs others to guide him along. That blue-haired bitch is a crutch, we don't need that! Man up, for fuck's sake!" Feeling fed up, I punched him back. He lost his grip and stumbled back a few steps.

"So, the wimp finally grows a spine. Tell me somethin', what do ya see in this Rei chick? She didn't give two shits about ya before ya started visitin' her."

"If you're really me, you should know the answer."

"Yeah, yeah. Ya felt 'drawn to her' or some other stupid bullshit. That ain't good enough for me. _Why_ did ya feel drawn to her?" I grimaced at the question; I couldn't really come up with an answer. "She hardly talks, has the personality a' cardboard, and gets all a' pops' affection over us. Tell me, why the fuck would ya be drawn to someone like that?"

"She may not be the most vibrant person, but she does have a personality. She's just been emotionally repressed for so long, she has a hard time expressing herself."

"Excuses, excuses. I'll tell ya once and for all why yer drawn to her. She reminds ya of yer dead mommy."

My eyes widened. I wanted to scream that he had no idea what he was talking about; but the words didn't come. What horrified me was, now that I thought back, what 'Steely Shin' said made perfect sense. I felt comfortable around her, I sought her approval, she felt _familiar._ Oh God, what the fuck was wrong with me?

"Yep, ya know I'm right. Yer subconsciously usin' that chick as a substitute mommy. And ya know the sickest part? Ya wanna fuck her!"

"Shut up!"

'Steely Shin' broke out in mocking laughter. Oh, how I wanted to tell that bastard how wrong he was, but I couldn't. Everything made sense; I did see Rei as a motherly figure. And as much as I loathed to admit it, I was sexually attracted to her. Freud would have a fucking field day with me.

"Just admit that yer relationship with her is unhealthy. Pretend none a' this happened, and we'll go back to ol' times."

I clenched my fists and began to tremble. Was he right? Was my relationship unhealthy? Was I using Rei for my own sick needs, with no regard to her as an actual person? I just didn't know. "C'mon, we had fun, didn't we? Gettin' into fights, boozin' around, fuckin' whoever we wanted without a care in the world. That's the life we want. We don't need a mother."

Dammit! Say something! "Rei is not my mother, nor is she a substitute for my mother. She's my friend, and I care about her." Am I telling the truth, though? Or am I just deceiving myself? No, I know the answer now.

"Don't kid yerself! She ain't yer friend, she's a fuckin' crutch! The only friend ya need is me!"

"Shut up. You can say whatever you want, but that doesn't change a damn thing. Maybe I was drawn to Rei because of some subconscious or unconscious desire. I don't really know, I'm not a psychoanalyst. But I know one thing for sure; Rei is my friend. I care about her and she cares about me. There's nothing messed up about that."

"Just shut up already, ya stupid fuckin' bastard!" 'Steely Shin' leapt at me, his arms outstretched. Tackling me to the ground; he began to violently strangle me. "If yer gonna be stubborn, we're just gonna have to do this the hard way! Die ya piece a' shit!" I slowly felt my strength and oxygen fading away. My vision had gone blurry. The pain and the sensations I was feeling; they were all so real.

Mustering what little strength I had left; I grabbed his wrists and headbutted him. Taking advantage of his dazed state; I yanked his hands off and threw him to the side. As my body shook, I slowly stood up.

"I'm not going to let you come back. I won't hide who I am any longer." With that, everything went white. I blinked a few times and realized I had woken up. I was in Misato's apartment, just as I had been when I went to sleep. I instinctively brought my hands to my throat, and gently massaged it.

Speaking of Misato, it had only been one night since our reunion. After she picked me up from the hospital, things were tense. However, once we arrived back at the apartment, she immediately lowered her defenses. She was actually worried about me; she cared about me. It was hard to come up with an appropriate reaction. Nobody had ever been so blatantly affectionate to me before in my life. Not in a platonic manner, at least. Rei had shown me affection, but it was different; more subtle.

I told her I had done a lot of thinking, that I was dedicated to embracing my true self. I needed her to know that the days of 'Steely Shin' were over. My abrupt change in personality did leave her somewhat puzzled, but it didn't take her long to adapt. The new Shinji, or should I say the _real_ Shinji, was a much more amiable person. Even if he was a lot more insecure.

As for how I was coping with the angel incident… I still wasn't sure. I understood the threat, I knew Rei needed as much help as she could to eliminate any future angels. But… I didn't want to be responsible for the deaths of any more innocents. My own incompetence had cut down two kids, not even in the prime of their lives; kids who barely had a chance to experience life.

The thought of being the direct cause of someone's death, even if it was unintentional, was mortifying. No matter what I would do to atone for my mistake, their blood would always be on my hands. It's a heavy burden to bear, and I don't think I'll ever get over what happened that day. Feeling desperate, I closed my eyes tight and clasped my hands together.

"I've done terrible things in my life, and worst of all; I've been completely hypocritical about these things. I've convinced myself I'm a 'devout' Catholic, but in reality; I'm an unrepentant sinner. I've been selfish and miserable nearly my entire life, and never once have I made a conscious effort to atone for my misdeeds." I choked back a few tears before continuing.

"I won't blame you if this prayer falls on deaf ears, but please; offer me some guidance. I'm so frightened and unsure of myself. What can I do to better myself? Can I pilot EVA again? _Should_ I pilot EVA again? And what of my relationship with Rei? Am I really deluding myself? Is our relationship wrong?" I took a deep breath.

"I don't expect you to hand me answers on a silver platter. I just… want some sort of sign, something to nudge me in the right direction. And I need you to know that I deeply regret all the wrongdoings I've committed in my life. I'll try this time. I'll really try to make a positive difference in this world; I promise. Please... forgive me." With a sigh, I made the sign of the cross. It was still very early in the morning, so I crept back into bed and patiently waited for sleep to overtake me.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I'll just write an uninteresting sentence here.

It was a quaint, starry night. Held in my right hand was a particularly large, black case. In it; a possession that did not belong to me, and yet, was very familiar. I settled on a park bench, and took my time to observe the people around me. Happy couples and families enjoying a night of peace; the scene was quite picturesque. Sighing wistfully, I opened the case, revealing a finely crafted cello.

The grand instrument was lent to me by an acquaintance. Despite learning to play the instrument, I never had the means to care for any instruments. I gently picked up the wooden instrument, and upon placing it in position; grabbed the bow.

This was one of my gifts to the people of Tokyo-3; people who had been through unbelievable strife and hardship. To some, playing an instrument may seem trivial. That's a fair point of view. However, when I see the people gather around and their faces light up; just in response to my humble music… I know I've made a positive impact.

Never had I expressed the desire of wanting compensation, yet people would still pay. The first few times that had happened; I insisted it was unnecessary. Music is my artform, my way of bearing a part of my soul to others. It wasn't a simple commodity. Nevertheless, they would insist. Any money I acquired through my music I gave away to whatever charitable organization I saw fit.

Clearing my throat; I positioned my left hand on the neck of the cello. Without a moment's hesitation, I moved the bow across the strings and began my performance. What I played was nothing noteworthy, being only improvisation. Still, it brought joy to the citizens of Tokyo-3, and that alone was satisfactory.

As I continued my playing; I reflected on the past few weeks. Shortly after reuniting with Misato, I had made a resolution. A resolution to better myself, a resolution to help others around me and not just myself. When I informed my father of this; his stoic façade remained unchanged as I explained to him the spiritual journey I would undertake. Misato took the news a little harder, but I assured her that it was for the best.

40 days ago, I left my previous life behind. For those 40 days, I traveled across Tokyo-3; helping out in any way possible. I volunteered in soup kitchens and homeless shelters. I helped clean up litter and debris. I had not seen the likes of Misato, Rei, or my father in that time. If I was to fully embrace my journey, I could not dwell on the past.

Perhaps through divine intervention, or more likely dumb luck; the city of Tokyo-3 had enjoyed a respite from the angels. There hadn't been a single sighting since the last one I had killed. Remembering that caused me to briefly stop my playing. I shuddered at the memory of that day. Quickly pushing those thoughts aside, I resumed playing.

After about two hours of performing, I began to pack things up. Just as I had finished closing the case, I caught sight of a familiar face. "Misato?!" The purple-haired woman jumped at the sudden outburst. She smiled softly, but her eyes showed concern. I smiled in return as she approached me.

"Shinji? I haven't seen you in over a month! What the hell have you been doing? Nice sweater by the way." She stifled a giggle after the last comment.

I rubbed the sleeve of the sweater nervously. It was a blue and white hand-knit sweater, with the face of a dog on the front and paw-print patterns. It was gifted to me by an elderly woman I had come to know during my travels. It was tacky as hell, but I cherished it nonetheless. "Oh, a little bit of this, a little bit of that."

"I was worried about you. I know it was your decision to leave NERV, but you didn't have to break off all contact."

"Maybe that was a bit extreme, but I felt it was for the best. If I lingered in the past, I'd never be able to dedicate myself to this journey. It's difficult, I know. But finding yourself is never easy." I rubbed the back of my head.

"It's not just me, though. This 'journey' of yours... it's upset Rei."

"Upset Rei? How so?"

"She hasn't said anything to me personally, but she's become even more isolated. It was such a relief seeing her warm up after your interactions, but now… it's like she's shut everybody out. Even around the Comman-I mean your father, she's very distant."

Rei... I'll admit, I missed her dearly. I did want to distance myself from my past, but there was more to it when it came to her. After that dream, all these doubts about our relationship surfaced. I couldn't even face her to say goodbye, and I felt tremendous guilt over that. To think, in my journey to help others, I ended up hurting the one I cared about most.

"I see…"

"Shinji, I know this journey is important to you, but please don't shut us out. Would it ruin your 'path to enlightenment' or whatever if you stopped by to say hi every now and then?"

I took some time to ponder. Yes, I did want to know what Misato, and especially Rei, had been up to. But… getting reattached would make things difficult. An image of that red-eyed, blue-haired girl flashed through my mind. This wasn't fair to her. She deserved to know why I left.

"Misato, do you know where Rei is right now?"

"Probably at her apartment. Do you want to see her?"

"Yes!" I unintentionally shouted. When people began to look at me in confusion, I blushed. "If it's not too much to ask, could you take me to her? I don't feel comfortable with the way I left her. I need to give her a proper goodbye."

"Don't worry about it, Shinji. We'll get there before you know it!"

Misato suddenly grabbed the sleeve of my sweater and dashed off. After we made it to her car, I placed the cello case in the trunk. Seconds later we were off, and Misato's driving was as haphazard as ever. Thankfully, Rei's apartment wasn't too out of the way; so, it only took a couple of minutes before we arrived at the complex. All in all, the building looked completely dilapidated. "Rei has to live here?" I gawked. "I'm trying to let go of my hate, but sometimes my father leaves me grasping for synonyms."

I thanked Misato before leaving to find Rei. After a few minutes of searching around, I stumbled across her door. "Well, here goes nothing." I rang the buzzer. No sound. I rang it again. Once again, no sound. Seriously? It was broken? With a sigh, I started to knock.

No answer.

I continued knocking for another 30 seconds.

Still no answer.

Was she even in there? Maybe, just maybe, she needed to know it was me. "Uh, Rei?" I asked in a slightly louder than speaking voice. "It's me, Shinji. Are you in there?" A few seconds passed without a sound. I was about to turn around and return to Misato, but I suddenly froze. Were those footsteps I heard?

I gulped and stared at the door, unsure of how I would greet the girl. I missed her and I still cared about her, but it'd been 40 days! You can't just say "Hi, how are you?" after that. Before I could come up with an appropriate greeting, the door slowly opened, and our eyes met. Her piercing gaze was unsettling; her eyes showed no emotion. If Rei felt nothing about my return, that would be far worse than her being angry.

"H-hi, Rei."

"Why are you here, Ikari?"

'Ikari.' Ouch, that hurt. "I needed to explain a few things, Rei."

"…"

"Please… could you let me in?" I pleaded. "This'll take a while."

For a minute, she stood motionless; her expression unchanging. "Fine." She opened the door and ushered me in. I was appalled at the state of her apartment. Dirt covered the walls and floor; trash and discarded bandages were scattered all about the place. Even Misato's apartment was never this bad. How could Rei live like this?

Once we arrived in the main room, I spoke. "Rei, I'm sorry. I had my own reasons for leaving, but not saying goodbye to you was inexcusable." Before I knew it, I was down on my hands and knees. "Please forgive me, Rei Ayanami! Never, and I mean _never,_ did I want to hurt you!" I let the tears flow freely; this wasn't the time to hold back, I needed some catharsis.

For minutes I sobbed; my face to the floor. She hadn't spoken or so much as moved. What was going through her mind? Would she forgive me? My time with her was brief, but it felt so special. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if she hated me.

"Shinji…"

My eyes shot open and my sobbing came to an immediate halt. She called me Shinji. That was a good sign. No, that was a _great_ sign.

"Just tell me why. Why did you leave?"

I wiped a few tears from my face then slowly stood up. Gazing into her eyes, I could see life in them again. She was distraught, and I knew damn well I was the cause of that. "You remember the last time we spoke? When I told you about how I used to act?"

"…Yes."

"For about a decade, I lived a rotten life. I was selfish, unpleasant, violent… and I had done nothing to make up for that. After what happened with Touji and Kensuke, I knew I had to make a real effort to atone."

"But why leave?!" The loudness of the question caught us both off guard. I had never heard Rei raise her voice before.

"I needed to dedicate myself to helping others. I couldn't do that if I was spending my time hanging out with you and Misato, piloting Unit 01 and going to school. Sacrifices had to be made."

"Why didn't you say goodbye?"

I sighed. This wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation. "Because of the nature of our relationship."

She looked quite puzzled. "What about it?"

"For a while, I was unsure of what drew me to you. When I first saw you in that hospital bed, I didn't feel that much." Not much I'd like to discuss out loud, at least. "But you kept appearing in my mind; I needed to see you."

"Go on."

"During our first conversation, when I told you I was going to protect you… I had no idea why I said that. I had never said something like that to anyone, and there I was saying it to a practical stranger. I didn't know why, but I felt comfortable around you. I wanted to protect you."

"I do not understand. What is wrong with having such feelings?"

"It's not the feelings that were the problem. It was why I had the feelings. Rei… I think I saw you as a mother rather than a proper friend."

Her eyes widened, and her face paled even further. She was also trembling, which concerned me. "What...?"

"It's weird, I know. But I couldn't shake this feeling that I was using you. I didn't want to put that kind of emotional baggage on you. I was also… confused about some of my other feelings."

"Other feelings…?"

"Let me put this bluntly… you're beautiful, Rei." Now she was blushing, not lightly either. "And you're very nice, too; even if not everyone sees it. Part of me wanted to become… more than your friend. But when I started thinking about all this mother stuff, I felt so conflicted. Nothing felt right."

"More… than… your… friend…?"

"Yeah, pretty foolish, right?"

Rei didn't say a word as she stared awkwardly at her feet. I scratched my scarred cheek and prepared to say something, but stopped when I felt two hands wrap around my free hand. "Rei?" I asked in a half-whisper.

"I am Rei Ayanami. I am not your mother."

I chuckled nervously. "I, uh, know that, Rei. It's just that I treated you like a mother."

"How so?"

"I wanted to please you, I wanted you to comfort me. Those seem like things a son would want of his mother."

"They also seem like things that… lovers would want of each other."

I just nodded dumbly before my mind processed what she said. "L-lovers? What are you talking about?"

"I know little of love, but I have read things. Is it not normal for people in love to want to comfort each other? To want to please and protect each other?"

Okay, now I was blushing. "Uh, y-yeah, I guess… b-but I don't really know…"

"Shinji!" She raised her voice for a second time, bringing me to attention.

"Y-yes!"

"Look me in the eyes and tell me how you feel."

With a deep gulp, I granted her request. Her eyes were the most beautiful shade of crimson; I had no idea why she hated the color. More and more time passed as we stared unblinkingly at each other. I was sweating, and my heart felt like it was about to break out of my chest.

 _Ba-dum._

 _Ba-dum._

"Shinji..."

 _Ba-dum._

 _Ba-dum._

"…Tell me…"

 _Ba-dum._

 _Ba-dum._

"…How you feel."

 _Ba-dum._

 _Ba-dum._

 _Ba-dum._

 _Ba-dum._

Here it was; the moment of truth. "Rei, I…"


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion. Hey, it's the final chapter. I can write a real disclaimer if I want.

"…want to clean your apartment."

Wait, what?

"What?" Rei was obviously quite taken aback.

"Your apartment's a disaster zone. I'll clean it up."

 _SLAP_

Man, I must be going crazy. I just had a weird vision that Rei slapped me. I felt a stinging sensation and I rubbed my cheek; wait, I didn't imagine that at all.

"Do you really not care at all?"

"Of course I care, why else would I offer to clean your apartment?"

"How do you feel about me?!" Wow, she actually lost her temper. Didn't expect that. Angry Rei was surprisingly adorable.

"Oh, I love you. So, are we gonna clean your apartment or what?"

She froze; her eyes were wide open with shock. I waved my hand in front of her face a few times. "Hey, are you in there, Rei?" Rei slowly came to her senses and began to stutter.

"Y-you l-love m-me?"

"That's what I said, right?"

I was about to turn around and start cleaning before I felt two arms wrap around me and hold me in place. "I… love you, too." Before I could respond our lips crashed together. My mind started going haywire as I tried to comprehend just what was happening.

The kiss lasted for about a minute; no tongue, just a simple kiss on the lips. We were both in a daze after our lips parted. "Jeez, Rei. I didn't expect you to be so bold."

She grabbed my hand and smiled. "Come on, let's clean my apartment."

 **15 Years Later**

Things had gone quite great in the last few years. No angels ever attacked earth again; can't really tell you why. Maybe they figured mankind deserved another chance? Who the hell knows? The EVAs also mysteriously disappeared one day; needless to say, this complicated things at NERV.

About NERV, shortly after the EVAs disappeared, my father had a change of heart. He became an all-around decent guy and started to bond with me. We played ball, we went camping and fishing, we even had heart-to-heart talks. He also turned NERV into a giant bread and pastry manufacturer called 'Gen-Dough.' They make pretty good cinnamon rolls, I must say.

Apparently, an organization by the name of SEELE were working in tandem with, or being manipulated by, or manipulating (Yeah, I'm not sure which one is right.) my father. Nobody knows what exactly happened to them. They were planning some kind of nonsense called 'Instrumentality.' There wasn't much they could do when the angels and EVAs up and disappeared.

Misato got together with some guy with a stupid looking ponytail. Kaji was his name, I think. He kind of reminded me of how I used to be, only much less of an asshole. From what I learned, they were college sweethearts. She seemed to hate the guy when I first met him, but somehow, they rekindled their old relationship.

As for Asuka… well, I never met her. I've only heard things about her. She was a German EVA pilot, same age as Rei and I. Seems she had a mental breakdown due to never actually fighting an angel. Imagine dedicating your life to piloting an EVA, and never using it for its intended purpose. Sucks to be her, I guess. I'm just glad I managed to convince Rei that there was more to life than piloting mechanically enhanced aliens with the souls of our mothers/clones.

Rei and I, well we got together and eventually married. We have three beautiful children; Two boys and one girl. Around the time the EVAs disappeared, she magically grew a womb. Pretty convenient, right? She also told me that she was a clone of my mother with some angel DNA mixed in. That mother issue just wouldn't go away, would it? Didn't take me too long to get over that, though. We were in love; she wasn't an exact clone, and it's not like she birthed or raised me.

We've been living in Massachusetts for the last 11 years. We first moved there so Rei could attend MIT. A few years after this, I came across an abandoned bar in Boston by the name of 'Cheers.' Used to have quite the reputation, but it closed down after Second Impact. I purchased the bar and became its bartender, despite no longer drinking. Let's just say, wacky hijinx ensued.

Truly, I was; Steely Shin: Certified Badass.

 **WE HAVE COME TO TERMS**


End file.
